Blog Hijacked

Since Cami has been on a blogging hiatus for the past little while I thought it would be best to assure her blogging buddies that she’ll be back in action soon. In the mean time I thought it would be OK to blog about something important to me and to society as a whole. Last year I started the first annual Golden Selleck Competition at the software company that I work for. It is a moustache competition named for the master of our creed, Mr. Tom Selleck, with categories ranging from ‘Pedostache’ to ‘The Conservative.’ A moustache growing competition is not only healthy, it’s essential to cube-dwellers everywhere to assure that we, as men, can have a release that only can be had through the upper lip.

During the competition it was good to know when you walked into a room you’d say to yourself “It smells like dude in here.” It was a time where your upper lip was no longer chapped or abused by a cold breeze; rather it was warmed and comforted by the glow of nature’s finest gift to man- the moustache.

With the Golden Selleck coming up soon the man-musk within the company headquarters was nearly at its breaking point. Those not used to the unbridled glory of wearing facial hair reverted to their baser instincts. Greco Roman wrestling matches spontaneously broke out in development when they disagreed over code. Some in support had recently been seen chasing down geese in the golf course on Monday mornings after they forgot to take their lunch to work. Although it was natural to revert back the hunter-gatherer state it needed to be remembered that a new moustache wearer must temper his new-found liberation with the standards of a professional gentleman.

So, lessons learned:
1. Because of some unwritten, and unfounded social norms moustaches aren’t allowed for family Christmas photos.
2. Don’t get your children attached to the stache or they will ask you months later, “Daddy, where your mostash?” It’s heart-breaking.
3. Moustaches are funny.